I feel like I've saved up a whole load of annoyance since my last posting. Top of my Things That Annoy Me list are people who leave their dog's mess on the ground. OK, I own a dog, so I know that you can't always help when and where your little darling goes, but for goodness sake! It looks and smells dirty, it's unhygienic and particularly in the autumn it's well disguised by the fallen leaves in my local park I've noticed, which occasionally leads to a 'sticky shoe' situation a la Phoebe from 'Friends':

We've recently had a new pavement laid down near our flat. It looked lovely and clean, for about half a day. Then it began to get marred with dog poo, just like the old one. The local council obviously had a lightbulb moment when they stencilled the below image onto the pavement at regular intervals. Do they really envisage this having any, I mean any effect on the non-pooper-scoopers around here? It looks like a 5-year old painted it! And what's with the atrocious font choice? I'm no typographer but I'd like to hear what one of my typographery-type (?) friends has to say about it! I really can't see these poor excuses for stencils having much of a difference. In fact I'm tempted to go and paint polka dots on them one night but I'm too scared I might get arrested. Hold on, if I used chalk, which washes off, that would be ok, wouldn't it? Watch this space....

Also I'm annoyed already with the darker nights and colder weather. I feel like I've been robbed of a summer that was promised but never even arrived. I've been stood up by summer. My flip flops didn't even get a look-in. Still, look on the bright side, at least it isn't raining. Much.

However, even I have got something to be thankful for. Whilst out with a friend for dinner the other week, we toasted those commuters who have the daily grind to work on over-packed trains and tubes, allowing us lucky few to work at home, only having to bear the grunting, sweating masses on rare occasions when a meeting calls us into central London.

We were surprised by the long queues stretching out of restaurants in London. On a Wednesday of all days! No sign of the credit crunch in the dining industry then, lucky things. Shortly after that I heard the great phrase 'dead cat bounce', which was first coined about 23 years ago. It basically means a small and temporary recovery in a financial market following a large fall, the idea being that even a dead cat will bounce if you drop it from a great height. Fantastic.

Recently I've become really self-conscious about just how much I make a remark on the weather. OK, so I'm English, I suppose I can get away with it, but I'm really aware that I'm fast becoming a prime candidate for the English 'talk about the weather' stereotype. I'm not sure that's a good thing. I've also noticed that I'm starting to take on the mannerisms of my mother, but that's for another time.

Take last Easter weekend. It snowed every day! And I'm in a big city that hardly ever sees snow. It didn't settle mind you. And the weekend before that, we had all kinds of weather - gale force winds, warm sun, drenching rain and hail.

Anyway, it's all ok now. Spring is on the way at last. Green buds on the trees, cherry blossom and the smell of the first grass cuttings of the year all mean it's just around the corner. I can't wait! Being a hater of winter it can't come soon enough for my liking. And just to prove that not only Spring, but Summer is nearly here too, I just heard the chimes of an ice-cream van down my road. So there.

Due to the wet weather and 'warm' temperatures, apparently slugs have reached record numbers this year. One poor sod found 1000 slugs in 1 square metre. Last year the average was 35 slugs per square and this year it's 61. What's more, they are about to BREED! A nightmare for farmers, and for people like me who hate stepping on the slimey molluscs...

Read the full article here, from The Times newspaper:

At least the slugs are enjoying the weather
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/weather/uk_and_roi/article2303151.ece

...yes, slugs, snails and worms all over the flippin' pavement. What's worse is that it's dark outside so that leaves me scouring the ground ahead of me to ensure I don't tread on any of the blessed things. YUCKY!!!! As a result of this, you can often see me dancing all over the pavements like a loony when I'm on my way home. I just hate hate HATE the cracking sound a snail shell makes when you stand on it. And I HATE the slight slip that happens underfoot when a slug goes to the great saltpot in the sky, via the sole of my shoe. It really makes me shudder...

Number of squashy invertebrates avoided:
- Slugs (5)
- Snails (13)
- Worms (2)

Longest worm encountered:
Approx 20cm

Number of snails on front step alone:
8

Ridiculous!!!