Crikey, where to start?

I caught the train back from Fes to Marrakech, seven hours in a semi air-conditioned compartment. It was pretty luxurious compared to the bus on the way there and MUCH better than South-West trains!

Marrakech seems about ten degrees hotter than when I left it, but compared to the madness that is Fes, it is like a haven of tranquility, in fact I feel like I'm coming home! There was no room at the Essaouira Hotel so I slept out on the terrace again, which was pretty cool, once the Moroccan rap festival nearby had finished.

The next day we visited a few of the other sights of Marrakech, although I feel like I've seen pretty much everything there is to see now. What I wasn't quite prepared for though, was the heart-rending yet incredibly humourous sight of two beggers, obviously both a little bit 'gone', begging from each other! One on the floor, the other leaning over him, with a stick for support. The first man silently asked the second for money, who knocked his hand away before asking the first one for money, before the whole thing began again...

We were planning on getting a bus to the Ourika Valley today but the guide books seem to have got that wrong - no buses go up there so we hired a taxi in the end, after a bit of a row with a surly taxi driver who tried to convince us it would cost 450dh. We negotiated him down to 300dh in the end, but not before a hasty and worried discussion on the relative merits of hiring a one-legged taxi driver for the day. Yes - you heard me right... Anyway, Mohammed the one-legged taxi driver proved to be excellent company and pointed out with very good humour, all the sights we could see on the way up the valley. A good and chilled out day was spent in and around the river and waterfalls of Setti Fatma and we spun it out as long as possible before having to head off back to Marrakech. Mohammed didn't mind either - he was playing cards and smoking with his mates. It turned out he lost his leg 14 years ago - a car ran into him when he was on his way to school and he had to have it amputated.

We piled back into Mohammeds taxi just as the rain started to fall in the valley. I never thought I'd be happy to feel rain, and it made it more poignant knowing that back in the UK the constant rain is becoming a major problem. The day got more and more surreal as it became clear that the cigarette Mohammed was smoking was of the more 'herbal' variety, and that he was slightly stoned! Not only that but he decided that we needed some English tunes on the way home so he put on his 'mix tape' that a friend made him, which turned out to be some kind of happy hardcore dance. We pulled into the centre of Marrakech with Mohammed really getting into 'Zombie' by the Cranberries. The fact that he was joyfully singing the chorus with his eyes shut, whilst he was driving was a slight worry, but we just chalked it down to the incredibly random day but immensely enjoyable day we just had!

What else can I tell you? Hmmmm, well some of you won't be surprised to hear that I finally succumbed to the lure of the pizza last night, and it was GREAT! Others won't be surprised to hear that I have mislaid a couple of items; 1) a pair of brown shoes, last seen four days ago at Cascades D'Ouzoude and rather more vitally 2) my passport. However, no need to worry, it turned up in a museum that I visted. In Fes.... Anyway it's all under control, luckily the musuem curator found it and it's being sent to the consulate in Marrakech. I had to get an 'official' stamp (on a scrap piece of paper) to say that I had entered the country legally despite not having a passport. Needless to say, it took five hours, four taxi journeys and three police stations before I finally got what I needed.... Isn't bureaucracy great?

...will travel...

I'd hoped to write again a little sooner than this but apparently they don't have internet connection in tiny villages next to amazing waterfalls...

So I spent Thursday sweating in Marrakech. Got lost in the souks, visted the Palace Bahia and the Museum of Marrakech, both of which were amazing architecturally as well as the decoration, slightly lacking in the artefact department though, but such is life. Also visited the Medersa, which is the old student accommodation for the Koranic school and watched the sun set over Djemaa El Fna, with it's snake charmers, drummers and the tiny Berber stalls which only come out after dusks sets in. They arrange their wares, which look mostly like strange herbs and medicines on a tarpaulin and sell by the light of a small kerosene lamp.

Friday morning saw a 5 hour trip to the Cascades D'Ouzoude, by bus and shared taxi. Met three really nice English girls and a totally insane Morrocan guy called Sham. Each night at his family's restaurant him and his mates play the drums and Sham is like a cross between Keith Moon and Animal from the Muppet Show. The village was really chilled out, like some kind of hippy cummune, and the perfect antidote to busy Marrakech!

On Saturday we went for a eight hour hike downriver to see some grottes (caves). They were no Cheddar Gorge, but the refreshing dip at the end was worth the walk! For those of you who are wondering, yes I did do the whole thing in my flip flops (Primark - 2 paaaaahnds) and there was no blue nylon rope involved.

Since travelling so far has been pretty much a doddle and I'm not feeling too pushed for time, I decided to spend a couple of days in Fes so today was spent mostly on a bus. The latter half of the journey I spent holding the very cute baby daughter of a Moroccan woman who was badly travel sick, and throwing up violently in a carrier bag next to me. I won't even mention the sheep in the baggage compartment. Today was so hot that I'm sure it came out slow roasted. Throw a few potatoes and tomatoes in there and you'd have a ready made tagine on arrival!

So far Fes is confusing, exciting, a bit scary and the alleyways are very dark and foreboding! I had started to feel really at home in Marrakech (yes, after only two days) so I'm feeling a bit out of my comfort zone here! I'm sure it isn't so scary in the day time but so far there has been a lot of hassle from street vendors. I'm putting my thick skin on! Anyway I'm being very well looked after by the hotel staff, which is great.

Oh yes I have also caught a cold, believe it or not!

Anyway, until next time!

Well I've arrived safely in Morocco! And after a short period of intense bargaining with the airport taxi guys, I managed to get them to halve the fare to take me into the Medina area where I'm staying. Unfortunately for me, the driver decided not to take me to the most sensible (and closest) dropping-off point for my hotel, so I then spent about half an hour walking around trying to find the blessed place. The streets are mostly not signposted, and have many twists and turns...in fact I'd go so far as to say that it's not really even a street, more like a dusty alleyway... Ah well, I found it eventually and settled into my very small, but very clean room.

The hotel itself is lovely. The rooms are all set around a sheltered courtyard with brightly coloured tiles on the walls. There are loads of backpackers here, mostly French and Spanish it seems, though I caught the distinct twang of an Aussie accent when I was buying an orange juice in the Djemaa el Fna.

Lunch was an enormous bowl of cous cous with chicken, carrots and something which seemed to be a cross between a gherkin and a courgette. A lone picture of the Spice Girls hung on the wall, their faces looking cheerfully down at me. I ate as much as I could but had to admit defeat in the end. Not bad for £2.

I've just been for a stroll around the Djemaa el Fna, which is like the marketplace, where it all happens. The smell of incense and freshly squeezed oranges combine with taxi fumes and dust, the calls of old women trying to persuade me to get a henna tattoo "Just a small one - for good luck!!!" and a man asking me to kiss his cobra!! "Maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow" is my constant reply (except to the man with the cobra, who got a flat-out "no thanks"!)

I decided to be sort of sensible on my first day and get out of the midday sun and let you all know I'm here and alive and well, in an air-conditioned internet cafe. Yes, for all you Brits - its boiling hot here, not a cloud in the sky! Hurrah! And so begins my eleven day summer - it had better not be sunny in the UK or I'll be really upset...

Just to let you know, typing this has been an absolute nightmare. Not only are the letters mostly worn off the keys, but they are also in Arabic AND western script and the letters aren't in the same order as on a QWERTY keyboard. The things I do for you all eh? (Moan moan moan)

OK, rather than spodding away in an internet cafe. I'm off to rock the kasbah.

So I've booked a ticket to Morocco. I'm leaving next Wednesday. I'm going out there on my own, and people who know me well, know that I'm not that great with just myself for company. So that should be interesting. I'm excited, and more than a bit scared I have to say.

I'm not too sure whether I'm most apprehensive about spending those days on my own, because I'm worried I'm going to be lonely, or because I'm not going to have the safety of a group to fall back on. But I'm pretty sensible, I've been to Egypt and Tunisia so I've got an idea of how things work there and hopefully that will stand me in good stead.

My plans are to land in Marrakech then travel directly to the Cascades d'Ouzoude and spend a day and a couple of nights there. Then back to Marrakech and onto Essaouira for some relaxing at the beach (yeay!). After a couple of days there it's back to Marrakech (again!) to sample the delights of the city.

Cue sleeping on rooftops, snake charmers, haggling, dusty streets, cold showers and taking about one million photos. Yes. It's you guy that will have to be subkected to them when I get home. Book out a good two hours of your evening folks!

Wish me luck!

Pic1: Cascades D'Ouzoude - www.travelwithattitude.com
Pic2: Essaouira Beach - www.travelblog.org
Pic3: Mosque of Koutoubia - www.exploitz.com

So, I'm walking back to my house, and in my usual daze of doing a bit too much thinking and not quite enough looking where I'm going, I walk into a rose bush. Yes, you may well laugh, but I wasn't, as I was pulling the thorns out of my face... And then, to add insult to injury, I started feeling something warm running down my face. I put my hand up to wipe it away and my hand comes down covered in blood! I carried on walking back to my house. I could still feel the blood on my face, but by this point it's actually dripping off my nose! I'm starting to wonder what people will think if I passed them in the street, but 'fortunately' I needn't have worried. Oh no! A guy drove past in a car, shot me a sympathetic look and just carried on driving! Not even a "You alright, Love?" Flippin' good job I was alright I suppose, since you're not going to give me any help you old git!

BLIMEY, what is the world coming to!?! I wonder what state I would have to be in for someone to actually help me!?

Right, I'm off to check if I need a tetanus shot...

"Police squirted with breast milk
Startled cops were sprayed with breast milk as they tried to arrest a suspected shoplifter.

Staff at Lizard, in Richmond's Hill Street, stopped the teenager as she tried to leave the clothes store on March 29.

They found a pair of shoes under her dress and some small wire cutters, which could be used to cut off security tags.

But when police tried to arrest her, she stunned them by grabbing her right breast and showering them with milk.

Incredibly, the store manager said suspected thieves often resorted to such tactics...."







I wonder if the 'lady' in question looked anything like this...

I've really got nothing more to say about this...

How true is this?


"Biting's good but it's the 'NEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW' in the dark that does it for me" (Metro newspaper)

I saw a guy asleep on the train last night, and he looked EXACTLY like Dr Jack Shepherd from Lost. AND he got off at my station. Sadly I'm no Evangeline Lilly so he didn't even notice me.

Such is life.